When Mother's Day comes around, I find myself in a very sentimental and reminiscing mood. There was a time not too long ago when I dreaded Mother's Day. It is a very difficult day for one who longs to be a mother. It feels like everyone else around you has the very thing you want. You find yourself feeling selfish as you know it is not their fault they have children but you just want to know when it is going to be your turn. When is God going to grant that desire? Are you ever going to be able to celebrate Mother's Day as a mother?
Last year Mother's day took on a whole other meaning. It was my first Mother's Day. Suddenly this day became something very special instead of a day of grieving. I found myself feeling so overwhelmed at the privilege of being Parker's mom just like the first moment I held him at the hospital. I was chosen for Parker. It brought on many emotions as I thought about his birth mom, the brave choice she made, and the fact that I was able to become a mother to an amazing son because of her sacrifice. At the same time I also found myself hurting for those around me who were waiting to get pregnant or waiting to be matched with a birth mom.
This year as I celebrated my first Mother's Day with Jonathan, I kept reflecting on the irony of my life over the past couple of years. How is it that in such a short time I went from someone who longed for a child to a mother of two baby boys?
As I think back on the journey God has taken us on, I always can sum up my emotions in one word: grateful. It is more than being grateful for Parker and Jonathan, it is feeling grateful for infertility. If it wasn't for infertility I would never have been placed with Parker or experienced of the process of adoption, something I would not trade for anything. Now I can say I am grateful for emotions, as hard as they were, felt during infertility. Because it is in the moments where raising two babies eight months apart becomes so overwhelming and challenging, I am able to stop and remind myself there are so many women out there who would give anything to have what I have. I know this because I used to be one of those women. So I am grateful that God chose me to take me on the path of infertility as it has given me a totally different perspective, something I thought I would never say. Infertility has made me one grateful Mother.
Last year Mother's day took on a whole other meaning. It was my first Mother's Day. Suddenly this day became something very special instead of a day of grieving. I found myself feeling so overwhelmed at the privilege of being Parker's mom just like the first moment I held him at the hospital. I was chosen for Parker. It brought on many emotions as I thought about his birth mom, the brave choice she made, and the fact that I was able to become a mother to an amazing son because of her sacrifice. At the same time I also found myself hurting for those around me who were waiting to get pregnant or waiting to be matched with a birth mom.
This year as I celebrated my first Mother's Day with Jonathan, I kept reflecting on the irony of my life over the past couple of years. How is it that in such a short time I went from someone who longed for a child to a mother of two baby boys?
As I think back on the journey God has taken us on, I always can sum up my emotions in one word: grateful. It is more than being grateful for Parker and Jonathan, it is feeling grateful for infertility. If it wasn't for infertility I would never have been placed with Parker or experienced of the process of adoption, something I would not trade for anything. Now I can say I am grateful for emotions, as hard as they were, felt during infertility. Because it is in the moments where raising two babies eight months apart becomes so overwhelming and challenging, I am able to stop and remind myself there are so many women out there who would give anything to have what I have. I know this because I used to be one of those women. So I am grateful that God chose me to take me on the path of infertility as it has given me a totally different perspective, something I thought I would never say. Infertility has made me one grateful Mother.
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